Proclaim Trust

A Lesson from the Time I was Naked and Nicked

It was 1992. The rave scene was in full swing. I’d been with Tania my girlfriend for 3 years. Tania had high cheekbones, hazel colour eyes, and she was classy. She didn’t take drugs, and she didn’t know that I did because I’d become good at the art of deception.

It was 5.10pm on a Monday, I’d been practicing DJing on my Technics 1210s turntables, and on that day it had all come together. After months of practicing, I’d finally mastered the art of beat mixing. I could get the two tunes in time and in key, every time. I was so excited! Tania came in from work. ‘Tania, listen, I can mix.’ I showed her how easy it had become. She wasn’t interested. ‘But Tania, listen, I can mix.’ I demonstrated my skills again. ‘I’ve told you’, Tania said, ‘I’m not interested.’ This led to a big argument. Then right out of the blue she said, ‘And I know you’re on drugs. I’ve known for a while; this can’t carry on.’ At that point, I knew it was the end of the road for us. All I could say was, ‘Okay, I’ll go then.’ All I took with me was my DJing equipment, my records, and a few clothes.

I had nowhere to sleep, so I headed towards Manchester City Centre in my car; this had always been home to me. I was driving around, and it was at this point in my life when I first started calling out to God. It was all about stuff that had to do with Tania. ‘I don’t know why she doesn’t care about the DJing God...’ ‘That’s it, she knows about the drugs God; there is no way that we are we ever going to get back together now.’ ‘And another thing God…’ Eventually, I parked on some wasteland and I slept on the back seat of my car for a few hours.

The following night, around 1am, I was driving towards the traffic lights in Sudehill. As I got closer to the lights, I said out loud, ‘If those lights turn red before I get to them, I’m going to my drop my trousers in Buxton’s Market!’ And as it happened, they changed to red! ‘Right, that’s it; I’m going to drive to Buxton.'

Buxton is 35 miles away from Manchester. While driving there, I was still calling out to God, ‘And another thing God…’ I arrived at the market place at about 2am and did what I set out to do. I did it, and thought to myself, ‘Right, I’ve kept to me word; I’ve dropped my trousers in Buxton’s Market.’

I got back in the car, turned around the first corner, and then I heard a police siren! I looked in the mirror. The police car was behind me. Three months before this incident, I’d been disqualified from driving for 12 months. I had sent off for a duplicate licence before my ban and was driving illegally. ‘Oh no, I’m driving without a licence. I'm going to get nicked,’ I thought. I pulled my car over to the side. One of the officers came to my window. ‘Good evening officer; have I done anything wrong?’ I said, trying to look really innocent. ‘No Sir, just a routine check. Can I see your licence?’ ‘Yes. Sure you can.’ I got out my duplicate licence. He took a look at it but didn’t radio in. ‘That’s fine,’ he said. Phew.

I set off driving slowly, and then I saw a Car Park sign. I didn’t realise it at the time, but this was the car park for the Pavilion Gardens.  I parked my car up and got out. I started to walk around, and I noticed a river at the bottom of a small hill. I ran down, still calling out to God. ‘And another thing God...’ I got to the edge of the river, and I thought, ‘I need to cross it.’ I took all my clothes off, stepped into the river, and waded across. I walked up the bank. At the top of the bank I could see a big building. I thought, ‘That’s where I need to go.’

All of a sudden, in the distance, I saw the blue flashing light of another police car! It started to get closer. There was no sound, just the light. Eventually, the light stopped, and I heard two car doors close. I saw two police officers walking towards me! I tried to hide behind a stone building at first, but they saw me, so I ran back down to the river and stood there with my back to the water. The river looked deep. All of a sudden, a dream that I’d recently had, had come back to the front of my mind. I dreamt that I was falling through some purifying water. ‘This is it God; that dream is going to happen.’ I held my nose and fell back, expecting to go into the water just like the dream, but when I jumped in, it was only a few inches deep! Within seconds the two police officers were at the side of the bank. One of them was a woman and she was carrying a beige blanket. ‘Come on love, you’re going to catch your death of cold,’ she said, handing me the blanket, and leading me to the police car.

They took me to the local station. After hearing the story, the desk sergeant could hardly keep a straight face. He did some checks and all of my previous convictions came up. They charged me with driving while disqualified, and they also charged me with ‘a non-reportable offence,’ also known as indecent exposure. This was all fair since I was naked when they nicked me! My car was impounded. The next day, I went to court and was once again remanded into custody, and sent to Leicester prison.

When I think about this time that I was naked and nicked in the Pavilion Gardens and consider those bizarre few days, there is a lesson to be learnt: you can Reach Up in the Middle of Your Mess-Up.

Within three days, I’d split up with my girlfriend, I was homeless, my mind was mixed up, I was found wandering naked in the gardens, I was arrested by the police, and then I was remanded in custody. Although all of this was happening, it was right in the middle of all this mess when I first started to call out to God.

Where are you at today?  What stuff’s going on in your life? Does it feel like things are a bit of a mess right now? It may not be anything like what I went through, but are you facing a crisis of your own?

The Bible says, ‘God is near to all who call on him… he hears their cry and rescues them.’

Whatever it is that’s going on behind the scenes of your life, remember: you can Reach Up in the Middle of Your Mess-Up.