Proclaim Trust

A Lessom from my Time Dating Tina

Proclaim Trust’s first office was in a place called Champness Hall. This is where I first met Tina. She worked for a youth work organisation and her team was based in same office building. Tina is strong, spiritual and from the South. Her background was totally different than mine.

It was Christmas 2002. We’d been working in same building for three years. Tina told me she was staying in the North for the holidays. I asked her, ‘Do you want to go out for a meal? ‘Okay’, she said. For me, this was a just a friend thing. I wasn’t looking for a relationship. It was daytime when I picked her up at her flat and took her to Frankie and Benny’s. We chatted about faith and our work. I didn’t think anything of it.

After Christmas, I popped into her office. We chatted for a while, then I asked, ‘Do you fancy going out for another meal?’ ‘Yes, okay’, she said. This time, I took her for Chinese at tea time. We chatted about faith and work.

A few weeks after this, I saw her in the corridor. We chatted some more and then I said, ‘Do you want to go out for another meal?’ She said, ‘Yes, okay.’ This time, I thought I’d really push the boat out, so I took her for an Indian. At night. We were chatting away at the table. Tina then got up to go to the bathroom. I remember looking at her as she walked away and thinking, ‘Core, look at those curves, look at her shape.’ She came back from the bathroom and then I caught a smell of her perfume. ‘Awe man, that smells lovely, so feminine.’ I had been single 10 years!

That night I dropped her off and went home. I walked into my flat, and I said to God, ‘Forgive me, I shouldn’t be thinking like this, take my thought's captive!’ Then suddenly, I had a feeling that this was right, like God had said, ‘This is of me.’ For days, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I couldn’t get her out of my mind.

‘Okay, if this is God, I’m going to send her an email.’ I was sat in my little flat one night. I picked up my laptop and put it on my knee. One thought did cross the back of my mind as I was writing it, ‘Will she accept someone with a history like mine?’ It took me an hour to write the email because I didn’t want to get it wrong and spoil our friendship. ‘Dear Tina, do you think God is in this relationship? Love, Barry.’ Then I hit send. A few minutes later, there was a message in my inbox from Tina. I quickly opened it and it said: ‘I like to think that God is in all our relationships.’ I sent another email. This one took me five seconds to write. ‘I know that God is in all of our relationships, but do you think there might be something more to this one?’ Send! A minute later there was another message in my inbox from Tina: ‘Maybe.’ I knew by her response that she was thinking along the same lines as me, and more importantly, that she didn’t have a problem with my past life as a drug addict.

Two days after I asked Tina out on a proper date and she said yes; this was the start of our relationship. In 2004, we got married, which means she really, really did accept me. On the 7th of February 2011, we celebrated seven years of marriage. I know what you’re thinking, ‘Did you go to Frankie and Benny’s. At night?’ No, we stayed in and had a takeaway!

When I think about my time dating Tina, there’s a lesson to be learnt: you ought to Accept that You are Accepted. God looks at you in a similar way. It doesn’t matter what your history is, he accepts you just as you are.

Jesus said: ‘Whoever comes to me, I will never drive away.’

Do you struggle with being accepted? Have you done things in your past that makes you feel unacceptable? Are you looking to be accepted?

Listen, one of the greatest things about the Christian faith is that it’s a message of acceptance; all you need to do is accept it. No matter what your history is, God accepts you just as you are: Accept that You are Accepted.